The LABOR of Love: Part 1

Pregnancy Pending

Choosing Motherhood Without Losing Yourself: Body Image, Career Identity, and the Journey to Pregnancy

Becoming a mother is one of the most transformative decisions a woman can make — and for many, it’s also one of the most complicated. When we recently celebrated 100 weeks postpartum, we found ourselves reflecting not just on parenthood, but on the years of conversations, fears, and growth that led up to choosing pregnancy in the first place.

For many women, the fear of pregnancy isn’t about whether they want a child — it’s about what they might lose in the process. Body image concerns during pregnancy are real. If you’ve worked hard to feel strong, confident, and healthy, the idea of rapid and uncontrollable physical change can feel overwhelming. Questions like What if my body never looks the same? or What if I lose the version of myself I worked so hard to become? are more common than most women admit. Pregnancy challenges not just your body, but your identity.

Beyond the physical changes, there is often a deeper fear: losing yourself to motherhood. High-achieving, career-driven women especially may worry about putting professional goals on hold or losing momentum. The tension between career and motherhood can feel heavy before you ever see a positive pregnancy test. Will ambition fade? Will priorities shift? The truth is that motherhood doesn’t erase who you are — it refines you. It clarifies what matters. It expands your capacity rather than shrinking it.

One of the biggest turning points in our own journey was recognizing that this decision was not a solo burden. While pregnancy is carried physically by the woman, choosing motherhood is a partnership. Having space for honest conversations about timing, fear, finances, and readiness made all the difference. There was no ultimatum. No pressure. Just a shared understanding that there is never a “perfect time” to get pregnant. Careers, schedules, and life plans rarely align flawlessly. At some point, the decision becomes less about perfect conditions and more about mutual support and trust.

For women trying to conceive, there are also practical and often unspoken challenges. Fertility is not just about timing — it’s about whole-body health. Pelvic floor physical therapy, nervous system regulation, hormone balance, stress management, and even addressing painful intercourse can all play a role in the journey to pregnancy. Many women silently struggle with pelvic tension, intimacy discomfort, or stress-related cycle irregularities, not realizing support exists. Seeking help is not weakness; it’s empowerment.

It’s also important to acknowledge that not every pregnancy is carefully planned. Some women face infertility. Some are navigating surprise pregnancies. Some are doing this alone. Wherever you fall on the spectrum — excited, terrified, uncertain, grieving, hopeful — your feelings are valid. You are allowed to want motherhood and fear it at the same time.

Now, 100 weeks postpartum, I can say this with confidence: I did not lose myself. I did not lose my ambition, my career goals, or my passion. Motherhood became a cornerstone of my identity — not a replacement for it. There will always be sacrifices in this journey, but there is also growth, expansion, and strength you cannot fully understand until you step into it.

Choosing motherhood is powerful because it is yours to make. Your body. Your timing. Your path. And no matter where you are in the decision-making process — trying to conceive, newly pregnant, struggling with fertility, or simply questioning readiness — you deserve support, education, and confidence along the way.

Motherhood does not require abandoning yourself. It invites you to evolve.

Want the longer version of this conversation? Listen to the full episode on Spotify or Youtube🎙️